Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish I was a hunting dog - living deep in a forest with lots of squirrels and snowballs to chase - and an endless supply of empty beer cans to dig up.

Each morning I would get up, eat an endless supply of scrambled eggs, go downstairs and vomit onto my brother's bed so I can eat it a second time, and then stroll outside to terrify the passers by with my impressive bark. Then a couple of squirrels and snowballs to chase and a sleep for the rest of the day - heaven!